he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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