Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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