Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
