WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
