This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize