She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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