please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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