He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think my moral compass just broke
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
