go do what you do best...puke behind churches
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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