Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
