You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I think my fart just growled at me.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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