And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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