beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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