this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
