Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
