every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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