I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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