Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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