My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
honey bunches of taint.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
