69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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