I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
being pregnant is like rehab
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
