It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
