Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
