my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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