I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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