Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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