i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
