take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
