Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
