It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
