apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
