What a fucking waste of an outfit
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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