stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
