Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
