the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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