Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
