So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize