You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
