I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
