I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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