i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
