i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
