that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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