You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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