JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
then he tried to convert me to islam
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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