yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
