He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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