he wants to bone in the snuggie
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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