Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
