Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
