I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
