the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
