in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
