I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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