She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
