I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
