; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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