She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
