Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
