yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize