I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
