her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
