omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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