how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
