I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize