i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
