Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
